Friday, September 12, 2008
♥
7:12 AM
I am LYING.
LYING TO MYSELF, and everyone around me.
I felt so hurt.
Could anyone just ease the pain for me?
No, none but only you.
I am suffering with hangovers,
I could hardly get myself to sleep.
I am suffering from insomnia,I guess.
I have all sorts of excuses and reasons for skipping work, leaving my major project aside.
Many is there to help, but I am not helping myself.
I am like a living vampire,
not doing anything,
not sleeping,
not eating.
I wanted sleep badly.
Sleep allows time to pass faster.
I wanted to gorge myself to all delicacies right infront of me,
but my tastebuds isn't working.
I could feel no hungry temptations.
I just feel like throwing out what I eat,
or rather not to eat.
Perhaps a spoonful is enough for me satisfy my hunger.
I am not torturing myself, I don't want to.
But I can't help it.
I want to love myself,
others advices can't get into my mind.
I thank my classmates and friends for not asking what is happening,
but just to be there for me.
Its all good enough, much appreciated.
I am running away,
hiding myself in the room.
Or went out in the morning and only reach home late at night,
avoiding everyone,including my parents.
I am running away,
as far as I could.
I start to close up everything to myself,everything.
I don't know how to handle situation well,
or I'm ignoring others advices.
You know me well.
I am stubborn, yes i am.
I am the cause of everything.
Blame no one,
but myself.
I hate myself.
Please wake up.
